12.08.2022

Did you ever steal random stuff in college? These people sure did

A metal mascot. “My senior year, my friends and I stole a giant metal sign of our mascot (a lumberjack). I had it hidden in my closet for six months before I passed it down to someone else when I graduated.” – katherinet11

A “flabongo”

“I stole a ‘flabongo’ which is a flamingo lawn ornament with an extra hole cut into it so it can be used to chug a significant amount of beer.” – jburnickas

Baby Jesus

“One time, my friends and I stole the baby Jesus from the nativity scene on campus. The school had a full investigation to try and find out who stole it. We had it for over four months and would secretly plug it in and use it as a night light.”

A family pack of chicken breasts

“I once drunkenly walked out of a frat house with a family pack of frozen chicken breasts. And not like, a four pack either – this was an 18-pack of LARGE chicken breasts. I walked past the boy who was watching the door with it under my arm like a clutch bag.” – lorank

A safety officer’s cruiser

“One of my school’s safety officers had the bad habit of running into emergencies and leaving his keys in the cruiser. Whenever we saw the keys in his ignition, we would park the car in the opposite direction, across the street, or just completely randomly (like in an empty bike rack or something) just to screw with him.”

A “Walter”

“I went to school in New York City, and one night, my friends and I ended up outside the Gap near Union Square. Employees were filling a dumpster with old signage and other equipment, and we made off with the lower half of a male mannequin (complete with significant bulge). We named him Walter and I used him as an accent table.” – anotsmallgirl

European beer glasses

“When we studied abroad, my roommates and I stole beer glasses from the coolest bars we visited across Europe. Now they’re what we drink out of at home and we always have a great conversation starter!” – yarab2

An “official” portrait

“My freshman year, I went to the Washington D.C. Mardi Gras celebration because my friend was one of the princesses being presented. After the ball, an even more exclusive party was held for the event’s elite, and we were invited. At the party, I stole the King of the Ball’s official portrait! I gave it to my best friend – the princess – and she put it on her bedside table in her dorm.” – corab4003c6b0c

A gallon of TUMS

“I stole a gallon-size tub of TUMS. I told my friend to put it in my purse because I was ‘lactose intolerant and had stomach problems.’” – calliejofunkh

A shot ski

“During my senior year, I went to a frat party and woke up the next morning with their shot ski. I have no idea how I got it home without anyone seeing me on our tiny campus!” – baileym4d6e75066

Doorknobs

“I stole the doorknobs off of every door on my floor. Then, I wrote on the residence hall Facebook, ‘I’M NOT KIDDING WHO STOLE MY DOOR KNOB?!?!’ and got a bunch of responses like, ‘OMG US TOO!’ Finally, the dorm had to order everyone new doorknobs and I ended up taking the originals home and making them into Christmas ornaments.” – gilliana41ef45ca1

25 mini plastic flamingos

“Stole 25 mini plastic flamingos from the school’s main lawn. Not sure what they were for or why we stole them, but we named EVERY. SINGLE. ONE”. – sarah72724

100 frozen hot dogs

“My friend stole a box of LITERALLY 100 frozen hot dogs from a frat party.” – kaylam4d52481c0

The letter “O”

“My roommate found the letter ‘O’ lying on the ground and decided it’d be an interesting statement piece. Our school had a ‘P ST OFFICE’ for the next three years.” – keelyp

A LOT of toilet paper

“My best friend and I were so poor in college that when we’d run out of toilet paper at our apartment, we’d unroll entire rolls of toilet paper from the school bathrooms into plastic bags and bring them home. I donated $25 to the school after paying off my student loan, so I think we can call it even.” – laurynk4257c98bb

Paco the traffic cone

“One time, a group of friends and I were driving back from a late night study session and we thought it’d be hilarious to take an orange traffic cone from some of the road work being done near our college. We named the cone Paco and then broke into our favorite professor’s backyard and left it for her to find. She had us all sign the cone and still has Paco in her office almost ten years later!” – stephanier40424e991

A loose brick

“I stole a loose brick from the campus walkway. I was annoyed that no one was fixing all those loose bricks, so I took one and used it as a doorstop when needed.” – naomiz

Things that doubled as bongs

“In college, I stole a metal tea kettle and a lawn flamingo (both of which became bongs), and a giant road construction sign that said ‘Men at Work’ that I soon changed to ‘Women at Work’.” – samanthah4d80e78de

One of those inflatable dancing guys you see at car dealerships

“A fraternity on my campus got one of those inflatable tube men that you see at car dealerships and spent, like, a STUPID amount of money on it. My friend and I thought it would be funny to steal it and set it up in front of their rival fraternity’s house to cause some ~drama~. When we got it to the other frat, however, we couldn’t find a plug and so we just ended up hiding it under my bed.” – gradeha

Just… all of it

“I was known as a bit of a klepto in college. I stole a lion statue, a fraternity picture composite, an American flag, a ‘Slippery When Wet’ sign, and all of the ornaments off a frat’s Christmas tree.” – ashtynv

A tub of ice cream

“One night at the dining hall, we noticed our friend’s torso was the same length as the tubs of ice cream at the self-serve station. A small group of us crowded around him and the ice cream, we lifted a tub up, and put it under his shirt.” – linneam

Rival school car magnets

“I went to college at Auburn University and our biggest rival is Alabama (obviously, unless you live under a rock and didn’t know). My roommate and I would steal those magnetic car magnets from every Bama fan we saw in town. Pretty soon, we had a nice collection and we often gave them as gifts to people we knew who were Bama fans.” – andreac49fd8e91a

Frats’ TV remotes

“I always stole TV remotes from frat houses! I loved picturing the guys fighting over who lost the remote the next day.” – jessicaf4b7ec4310

A “Speed Hump Ahead” sign… teehee!

“My roommate and I stole a ‘Speed Hump Ahead’ sign. We thought it was funny because it said ‘Speed Hump’.” – jessicar423305f48

A plastic dinosaur to win back a lady

“My boyfriend got pretty drunk with his buddies at homecoming and decided to wander across campus. In their adventures, they discovered a distraught young man who had been dumped by his girlfriend. Somehow, they all decided that stealing the large plastic dinosaur lawn decoration out in front of the student health center and presenting it to her would win her back. That’s exactly what they did. It didn’t work.” – annabelle86

An eight ball

“The guys in my residence hall always hogged the pool table, so on my last day, I stole the eight ball and ruined it for everyone. I still have it!” – mrb1986

A tree of cones

“My roommate and I stole some traffic cones that later served as our Christmas tree. Also pictured is our dear inflatable penis who, fittingly, was eventually stolen.” – erostrow

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