“What are you doing this evening?” Any woman will be happy about this issue from a nice and handsome man to her. Well, if this is already your beloved man – how to prepare for a date, you can guess.Well, if it is a beautiful stranger or a silent colleague, suddenly acquired the ability to speak? An awkward pause or unexpected turn in conversation can confuse and discourage even the most experienced young lady with a decent baggage of the first dates.About that, where to go on the first date, what to have time to ask, and what is better to remain silent, learned the correspondent of SHE.
All in Places
According to a survey conducted on SHE, the overwhelming majority of girls, with all the richness of choice, prefer the most neutral place for the first meeting, which can be thought up – a park (52% voted for it), a restaurant with a stranger is ready to go 30%, followed by a cinema – 11% of respondents agreed to meet there. A minimum number of readers will go to the club or immediately to the apartment – 2 and 3% respectively. According to Tatiana Skritskaya, a psychologist at the Novosibirsk Perinatal Center, statistics show that most couples develop in people who have met either on vacation or at work.
Apparently, in the first case, the situation itself has, and the second one has the opportunity to take a closer look and understand what kind of person is in front of you.
If in the stuffy office the appearance of the applicant for a date is not expected, and before the rest is still working and working, choose a place from which you can easily and quickly slip out if you want. In order to avoid the troubles that lie in wait for each step, it’s good if people meet with an unfamiliar person nearby. “In addition, it is necessary to avoid embarrassing situations, so choosing a place also implies a sense of freedom and naturalness,” warns the psychologist, the founder of the Institute of Counseling Alain Sagadeeva. – Much depends on stereotypes. Someone is easier to pay for themselves in a cafe, and someone – quickly escape on the street. The main thing is to preserve independence in practice, and not pretending. ”
Beauty in sneakers
About what to wear on a date – the first it or the tenth – you yourself know very well. And although the case requires preparation, often the clothes, which are supposedly met, are given too much attention. “We evaluate the partner in terms of offspring,” recalls Tatiana Skritskaya to those who forgot what really matters. – And we value the qualities that directly or indirectly indicate his health and the offspring that he can give. Here, biology and physiology work more than psychology. ” The only thing worth paying attention to is how much your chosen image of the fatal beauty or girl in the sneakers corresponds to the true one. “A man forms the image of a woman both in dress, in make-up, and in behavior, this often happens unconsciously. Therefore, it is necessary not only to look for a way to impress
Listen to me
One of the most common female mistakes is the desire to show and prove yourself without trying to find out a partner. And yet, when a man succeeds in inserting a word, pay attention not only to the content – what he says, but also to the form – how he does it. For example, quite harmless compliments can sound quite aggressive. It is better to pay attention to such discrepancies on the first date.
“All of us are captivated when we are well listened. Well, if a person initiating a meeting, will ask another. Then the second understands: I was called because I’m interesting. And it does not matter who invited whom – a man or a woman, “- says Tatiana Skritskaya. Attentive listening does not negate speaking – do not be afraid to talk about what’s interesting to you. If something that is expensive and significant to you, causes yawning or rejection, it is better to learn about it as early as possible.
“Do not talk about income, if he is not an accountant in the shower. Do not talk about sex, if you are not going to give yourself up quickly. Do not talk about how difficult it is for you to look good, educate your child, negotiate with your father … “
– lists Mrs. Sagadeeva, adding that all these rules have exceptions. But we know that it’s more pleasant to spend time with a person who is content and positive, than ever aching about the injustice of the universe.
Who is the girl supper
Why crush the decline of culture and moral values? Yes, earlier the questions “who pays for dinner?” And “when sex?”, Appeared infrequently and were not related to each other, but even now men with such beliefs do not meet at every step. Nevertheless, if the issue with payment of the bill in the restaurant is felt as delicate, psychologists recommend to prepare in advance for the most unfavorable variant, and then to observe how the man will make a decision – this will give him valuable information. If you are a little acquainted with a partner, you can openly discuss the conditions of the trip to the restaurant – from such small things, after all, there are those serious relationships that many are striving for.
Is it worthwhile to continue the evening in an intimate atmosphere? Some believe that after sex on a first date, men lose interest, others, like Samantha from “Sex in the Big City” – that such rules are invented by people whom no one wants, especially to spoil the mood of those whom everyone wants. But psychologists recommend not to rush, and not only because it is unsafe for health.
“It is very important for a couple to learn different ways of interacting with each other. If the pair is good with sex, but there is nothing to talk about, such an alliance will not last long.
But when partners have many unifying principles – common interests, joint plans, then it is much easier to achieve sexual harmony, “Tatyana Skritskaya believes.
“What is built quickly, not everyone is perceived as something lasting. Accordingly, the blitz won from one meeting does not raise the desire to repeat itself. But it is best to follow your true desires without fear of looking unattractive in the eyes of another. What one does not like will drive a person mad, “says Alain Sagadeeva.
After a date, you can hit two extremes. The first is the desire not to miss a man at any cost, no matter what he thinks about it. And the second – sadly admit that the guy is good, but not the Prince. “It is important to give another person time and opportunity to think,” Tatyana Skritskaya warns the first category of girls. “Because if some side is very interested in a relationship, it can frighten and repel.” “I really want to meet Prince. Therefore, all applicants are immediately considered from these positions. This is mistake! – Alena Sagadeeva resembles wisdom, loved by psychologists, who stuffed her teeth, but did not lose relevance. – It is necessary to focus on the pleasure of communication, aware of the fact that the prince is a long-term concept. The prince is not someone who makes a strong impression