July 17, 2024

Bin the tiara! Wilderness is hosting a beauty pageant that *finally* celebrates every single one of us

Wilderness – long the ultimate wellness festival – has recruited the infamous performance artist, Andrew Logan, to host a one-off Alternative Miss Wilderness competition. Thus flying in the face of Love Island’s lack of diversity.

Welcoming anyone to enter, the requirements go far beyond the prescriptive. Instead, Wilderness calls for “poise, personality and originality,” making for a beauty contest that celebrates beauty in all forms. Finally, a beauty pageant that celebrates what differentiates us and defines us as individuals.

Logan has toured his infamous Alternative Miss World Pageant since 1972 and inspired by Crufts – no less – he hopes to destroy the mythology of beauty by trumpeting creativity and self-expression with lashings of glitter and indeed, sass.

The theme for the pageant is ‘Secrets’ – oh, how mysterious – and unlike Miss Congeniality, competitors will model their own take on ‘Lakewear’ in the costume category before taking part in an on-stage Personality Interview.

With rehearsals out the window and previous infamous appearances from the likes of Grayson Perry and David Bailey – anything can happen.

Wilderness 2019 is set to leave you empowered not hungover – that would be a miracle for a festival – and here we round up the five other empowering things Glamour are dying to do at this year’s festival…

Body Love Sketch Club

Sketching out body positivity, this life drawing session encourages drawers and indeed, models, to leave preconceptions of beauty and inhibitions at the door. This aims to go beyond the session, leaving you with a new love towards yourself and your body into everyday life.

Sleepover Party

There ain’t no party like a slumber party. Wilderness have come up with a sleepover club on steroids complete with gigantic bed and one singular duvet. Held within a secret location within the festival, the sleepover staples of hot chocolate will be provided but you will have to bring your own chat, Pjs and nightcap. Bedtime stories have never been more mass.

Speed Dating Without Talking With Shhh Dating

Getting repetitive strain from swiping left and right at will? Well, prepare to make your dating techniques a little more Blue Planet, as you will participate in speed dating by only using non-verbal flirting games. Expect suggestive looks to pepper the carefully crafted games and maybe even a festival romance. It’s the new holiday lover, FYI.

A Woman’s Touch

This workshop for women by women aims to explore love, intimacy and sensuality away from the confines of the male gaze. The session comes complete with Goddess Worshipping, which involves a little massage. Hosted by Gaia – so amazing she is just known by one name – who regularly hosts Psychedelic Women’s Circles in London. This women-only space aims to empower you to shred your body hang-ups and delve deep into the realms of sensuality.

Spooning Hour

Appaz since ancient times, 7pm has long be heralded as the hour of spooning. Wilderness is set to continue the tradition by bringing people together, no matter what their difference may be, in one jolly good spooning circle. Hosted by Stefan Gaphausen and the expert Togetherness Play Team, this will also make for a cracking power nap between the day’s antics and a wild night of adventure.

Blindfolded Adventure Time

Speaking of adventure, The Famous Five have got nothing on this! For this lol-a-minute activity, you will be blindfolded and forced to use your touch, taste, and sense of smell to tackle an assault cause. You can either come with a blindfold buddy or turn up solo. Wilderness is set to return you to your childhood state and we can’t wait for this!

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