It begins quite harmlessly – the exchange of views of the copier, the exchange of phrases on “ICQ”. Then you can go to lunch together (sharing food together) and chat on non-working topics. Then stay late at the office and drive home or go somewhere after a tedious job.All these actions should be repeated many times – in order to be trapped in a service novel.
Since the time of the well-known movie with a similar name, much has changed. Hunting for oranges and boots, thank God, remained in the distant past. And intellectual workers spend much more time on their work. Psychologists, in turn, found a rapid growth of “extra-statutory relations” at work.
According to research, about 80 percent of workers experienced themselves or observed love-sexual relations at work.
We evaluate men from different sides: we look at what they are workers and what friends, we study personality traits and character, evaluating them as potential sexual partners and future fathers of the family. Although in most cases this happens unconsciously.
Despite the common sense and advice of girlfriends, an ordinary Novosibirsk office can become a cozy love nest. This is not surprising – close communication in the team, special trainings for rallying, endless work days, lack of free time – and the place of romantic candles is occupied by office lamps. Contrary to the popular opinion of relatively short working intrigues, serious long-term relationships are possible at work. According to the research, future spouses are more often acquainted at work than at school or at university.
So what is the appeal of office novels?
Proximity.In all senses of the word. He sits at a nearby table, you dine at a nearby cafe, periodically you borrow a cup from him, and he, in turn, asks you to tell the boss that he will be late. It’s a sin not to fall in love. You have common interests and goals – you do one thing, you want to achieve a good result in it and go home as soon as possible. You have at least five eight-hour days to find the points of contact with him, and the blond little girl with whom you met him is only an evening and a couple of days off. According to psychologists, the more often and longer you communicate with a person, the more sympathy you feel for him. And sympathy under certain conditions can go into something more interesting.
Similarities. The second point follows from the first. Most likely, your colleagues have the same education as you, about the same level of income, you have common acquaintances and common goals. The case about which they say – like attracted to something like that. You have something to talk about. Of course, this does not apply to all of your colleagues, but as a result of careful selection, which occurs, if you are alone, “unlike” are eliminated.
Security. That guy from “Dating”, of course, is handsome in the photo and is pleasant in communicating on ICQ, but to meet with him you are afraid – and suddenly a psycho, a drug addict or a maniac? But Sanka-programmer, you know him for three years, you know his selfless love for his mother and Japanese cuisine, you know where he lives and what his dog’s name is. So why not?
Convenience.Gosh, it’s really convenient! Especially if you are a workaholic and spend at work 10-12 hours, 7 hours you sleep, 2 – take food, and 3-5 hours remain on everything else, including communication with the opposite sex, taking a bath and washing.
Biology. Where without it? In addition to the desire to be successful in work, the woman has a desire to look good – to please male colleagues and to put colleagues in the background. So hormones fly around the offices no worse than in pub-pubs-restaurants. Especially in the summer, when the body remains at least clothes.
Novosibirsk girls, by the way, tend to dress for work as a holiday. Rhinestones, beads, transparent fabrics, complemented by high heels: as if just from a party – let me think, I’ll come to work. Sibiryachka is on alert – if a colleague invites her to one of the city’s many establishments in the evening, she will not tell him: “Oh, I need to change my clothes!”
Despite the circumstances that facilitate rapprochement, official novels carry dangers. Residents of our city shared their impressions about this.
A novel with the boss.If you meet with the chef, perhaps he will contribute to your promotion, but on the reputation you can put a fat cross. Even if you later earned blood and earned a salary increase, your co-workers, or rather co-workers, will take it differently. Envy, gossip, whispering behind his back, the lack of girlfriends and friends – that’s the full set of the chef’s favorite. And if your romance ends, you will have to leave yourself, or you will be gone.
Natalia, 28, secretary: “I never thought that I would become the boss’s mistress. But it just so happened in my life … We could not take our romance to public view, but all the same, as usual, everyone knew everything. Any of his positive gestures in my address – even a smile, caused attacks of hatred among female employees. By the way, men took a neutral position on this issue. ”
A romance with a married man. One third of office romances are extramarital affairs. The development of love events in front of employees, psychologists say, depends on three factors: on how much lovers hide their relationship, on their plans for the future and on the degree of conservatism among employees.
Olga, 31, sales manager: “One of the girls at my job was romance with a man who had a wife and a child. All married women caused a sharp negative, many turned away from her, despite the fact that they used to communicate. ”
The gap. The end of a relationship is always hard to survive, but in an office this is much more difficult. Out of sight – does not work, the ex-lover will constantly remind you of the ruins of your relationship. And to dive into the work, forgetting about everything, will not work either. Instead, real office wars are possible, where other workers occupy the sides of the warring. The war can stop if one of the sides surrenders and leaves.
Alena, 24, designer: “In my life there was a service romance, followed by parting. A more painful period in my life, I do not remember. Constant clashes, the need to communicate. I could not stand it and left, although the work suited me in all respects. ”
The service novel not only takes away from the employees mental powers – it harms the whole work process. This conclusion came in the UK and immediately took action – many large British companies conclude with employees “love contracts” that prohibit high-feeling in the office and direct all the energy of employees to work. Perhaps, soon Novosibirsk companies in the struggle for productivity will prohibit not only communication in ICQ, but also an easy flirtation within the team.