When someone loves you, they don’t have to say it. You can tell by the way they treat you. – Anonymous
While there’s no right or wrong when it comes relationships and it all depends on the way we feel with the partner, at some point, it becomes clear if your partner is the one.
And that is not related to receiving verbal reassurance of how strongly you are loved.
Words mean nothing when they are not backed up by actions.
If you notice that your partner isn’t as invested in the relationship as you’d like them to be, or, that they might not be a “soulmate” type of partner who you’ll be with long-term you need to have an honest conversation with them.
To help you reveal the true feelings of your loved one we’ve made a list of ten things that only a long-term partner who truly loves you would do for you (based on the opinions of different experts).
This list could help you identify whether your significant other is really in love with you or not.
We are all unique in the way we show our appreciation, so if your partner doesn’t bombard you with romantic messages or flowers, don’t panic! It might be that they are not the type of person who feels the constant need to say “I love you,”. Or they may not be the type who will ever say it but prove it through actions instead.
You should remember, however, that it’s important to know how your partner feels about your relationship after a certain period.
“Within one year of the relationship, your partner should express that they love you and see a future with you, or they [might not be] ‘a soulmate,’” dating coach Anna Morgenstern says.
2. Include you in their plans.
Let’s say your partner gets a promotion in another city or country. If the relationship’s serious, he or she is going to consider you when choosing whether to accept or not.
“But if they’re not talking about how you two can make it work if they’re living elsewhere, then that’s a red flag that maybe this relationship won’t last,” Theresa Herring, LMFT, a Chicago-area couples therapist, says.
So, pay attention if your partner includes you in their plans for the future as this is an important sign whether he or she loves you truly.
3. They share secrets with you.
A healthy, stable relationship doesn’t always involve partners who share every secret they’ve ever had. But if someone is serious and truly loves you, they should tell you at least the things that could affect your relationship and how you relate to each other. Here is what Anne-Marrie Foscolo couples counselor says:
“Things like what you ate for lunch and that your best friend is worried because her 14-year-old daughter’s got a boyfriend are not important to share. In this category would also be past relationships that didn’t include a divorce, abuse or a child. However, the big things (i.e., a medical diagnosis, losing/ getting a job, a fear of heights…) should be discussed.”
4. They disagree respectfully.
If your partner finds a healthy way to argue with you or to express their disagreement – because disagreements happen – it means that most probably you’ve met a mature and reliable partner.
Does your partner respect your opinion even when you fight? Do they listen to what you have to say? Do they compromise? (And do you do all these things for them?) If yes, there’s a high chance you’ve found a long-term partner. However, Dr. Klapow warns that:
“If you are walking on eggshells, avoiding conflict, or are worried that the relationship will be over after strong emotions are shown, they may not be a soulmate.”
5. Try to satisfy you sexually.
If one or both partners aren’t happy with their sex life, they could be feeling unsatisfied which might lead to anger and tension. But if your partner communicates openly and honestly about what they want in bed and wants to know how to satisfy your sexual needs, you are on the right track in your relationship. According to Rachel and Michael Gibbs, relationship experts and founders of the Big Oh! Box:
“Couples should be openly communicating their sexual needs to ensure a long and happy relationship,”
Of course, make sure both of you are comfortable with talking about that beforehand.
6. They treat you as their friend.
There are different reasons why people are attracted to each other – love, sexual attraction, the desire for children, money. But what keeps most couples together for a long time is true friendship. Maintaining a positive friendship with your partner means that you care about them.
“In my opinion, a friend is someone who helps you feel better about yourself just by being with them,” Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, a psychotherapist and an author explains.
7. The time spent with you is precious for them.
” You enjoy each other’s company and spend time together regardless of what you’re doing,” licensed marriage and family therapist, Heidi McBain, MA, suggests.
If you can sit in silence with your partner and be completely content, that’s a pretty good indicator that you can happily grow old together.
8. Respect your personal space.
“Although it’s important to spend quality time with your partner, it’s just as crucial to spend time with yourself,” Caleb Backe, Health and Wellness Expert, says.
Healthy relationships that are built to last are made up of two individuals who give each other enough space while in a relationship.
9. He or she accepts you as you are.
Although you are not perfect your partner makes you feel as if you are because they accept you for who you are. You feel free to be yourself in their company.
Here is the definition of acceptance provided by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship.
“Acceptance doesn’t carry that ‘I wish it was different’ theme. Acceptance has, at its core, the idea that this is who the person is – and you are okay with it.”
10. They make you feel extremely happy.
You trust, respect and appreciate each other. You don’t get the feeling there is something ‘missing”.
You are open to your partner’s needs, and your partner is open to yours. For both of you, it brings extreme joy to make the other person feel loved and appreciated. You are deeply connected with your partner. He or she makes you feel like nobody ever did and like no one else ever could.