Stress in the big city

Life in a metropolis forces women to compete among themselves and suffer from loneliness

What are the first associations with the word “metropolis”?Skyscrapers, bridges, shops, interchanges, rush hour is a long list, imagining a futuristic anthill. At the same time, a person does not see the whole picture: in the field of view fall that part of the concrete wall, then turn on the minibus, then the endless traffic jam ahead. The most acute reality reminds oneself with the help of stressful situations (not without reason the “negative” is remembered better).But is it easier to live in a small town? About the “deposits” of stress, about ways to maintain balance and about where we are not, the correspondent of SE recognized. 

Spiders in the bank
We have long been accustomed to observe the paradox: the larger the city, the less places in the sun under it. And if once on the “arena” came out only men, then today in this fight, the control package of applications – for women. “In the first place, stress generates increasing competition,” said the director of the psychological center “Harmony” Nikita Lozin.

Weight and the second cornerstone of stress is the acceleration of the pace of life. “If there was once a technology for five generations, then from the middle of the last century there were five technologies for one generation,” commented psychologist Elena Novosyolova. – In the village everything changes more slowly, but in a megacity a person has to be in the stream of time, constantly learning. Pursues a tension: suddenly you will not live from the life, you can not cope? “. Psychologists believe that it is chronic stress that is disastrous for the psyche. Single “shakes” are even useful from time to time – this gives an impulse for development. 

Emotions under the press
The conflict includes a universal “stress strain” – the interaction of man and society.

According to Elena Novoselova, loans lead to the dependence of the individual on the soulless structure. The interest is prohibitive, the risk of non-payment causes stress. In honor, an extremely high level of values, and we are led by an infantile desire to get everything and immediately. 

Also, society puts a “plus” sign to one of the ways of escape from reality – workaholism. “Disease” is not as serious as addiction to drugs or alcohol, but the negative consequences are obvious: self-denial does not go in vain for health.

The very environment of the “ant-hill” is also pressing. There is a distance between people, a personal space that is disturbed daily in public transport or in traffic jams. Solitude is necessary – calm down, slow down. But sometimes we belatedly notice that solitude “got out of control” and grew into real solitude.

“The larger the city, the stronger a person shields himself. He jams into the box and does not know the neighbor in the face of the ladder. Loneliness is a feeling, not a state: there can be many people around, colleagues, but this does not dispel the feeling of loneliness. In megacities, it is sharper than in small cities, “said Nikita Lyozin. By the way, in Japan there is a phenomenon of “hikikkomori”: a person voluntarily locked himself in an apartment and does not go out for years. Hermits of modern times ignore the TV and computer, and they only need a phone to order food at home.

The result of the series “Sex and the City” says that finding your soul mate in a megacity is real, but very difficult. Residents of small cities are easier: and there is relatively much free time, and the level of requests is lower. According to statistics, there are more women in megacities than men. Modern life allows a woman to stop looking for a defender and a bread-winner, and an increasingly conscious choice is made in favor of loneliness. 

In any relationship, the moment comes when the halo around the chosen one is dissipated. In this case it is possible that the prince suddenly turns out to be a drinking neurotic, and a white horse – a sofa by the TV.

But relations are built by two, and if they are really important, one must learn to find compromises, not to raise demands to the absolute and to cherish each other’s trust. “The most important thing that a resident of a big city should do is to be able to get in touch,” concludes Elena Novoselova. It’s like in traffic: the better you know the rules, the less stress. 

To the village, to my aunt
We all know how important it is to regularly bring back the joy of life. Only for what to grasp? It is useless to cut out a place for the word “meditation” in the organizer and sigh resignedly, again skipping this point of the schedule. You need to find a hobby that is interesting to you. And there is no need to convince yourself to love something fashionable or exotic: if the soul asks for an elementary bath by candlelight – so be it. The main thing is to be able to listen to yourself and not give up small pleasures.

“Leave on vacation at least twice a year” – this is a simple recipe from Nikita Lyozin. But accompanying the trip with loud music and vanity is not effective. Elena Novosyolova explains: “This imitation of the tempo of city life is a transition period associated with anxiety: suddenly finding himself in silence, a person suddenly hears himself.” It is better to gradually slow down the pace to relax and feel the comfort: a real rest comes in peace. 

In everyday life, classical things are fine – art, sport. “It’s impossible to make a scandal in a megapolis, all stealthily. And he screamed at the stadium – and felt better. 

In a fit of emotion, it’s easy to break the boundaries of etiquette: when the mantra “goooool!” Sounds, you can kiss your neighbor and hit a fan-opponent, and everyone will take it for granted, “notes Nikita Lozin.

And, finally, about the most important anti-stress quality – understanding. The thing is this: the more a person understands, the less worried. “It is useful to have a sufficiently high level of consciousness to see the general course of things. Understanding and stress are in antiphase, “Elena Novosyolova is sure. If you practice the skill of understanding, then it does not matter whether the concrete is around or blooming trees – you will be happy anywhere. 

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