In the conditions of severe competition, the search for a life partner becomes even more serious and responsible. Those who despaired of finding a husband among “their”, expand the search zone, paying attention to men not only from other cities, but also from countries.The founder of the international dating agency E-Date service Ekaterina Brusenskaya told the SHE correspondent about the role of calculation and love in inter-ethnic marriages, as well as about why Siberian aliens are foreigners.
The crisis affected everyone, including us. I can not say that the demand from women has grown or fallen. Interest is shown to the same extent as before. As for the interest of foreign men towards women, at the beginning of this year he slept a little, apparently, this is due to the crisis. Now it is normal and stable enough.
What motivates a girl from Siberia to seek a husband abroad?
The main reason is that she can not find a life partner in Russia. We all know the statistics – there are fewer men than women. This time. The second point – we have a lot of divorced women with children. And not every Russian man will dare to take such responsibility – to marry a woman with a child. Well, still play a role of the peculiarity of mentality – abroad men are more often adherents of family values. Our men, as a rule, do not pay much attention to this. Another factor is alcoholism, which is widespread in Russia.
Imagine, a woman over 30 years old, has a child. Her way of life is often monotonous – house-work, everything goes according to plan, there is no time to go somewhere and get acquainted with a man.
Again, where to go? To the club? I do not think that this is the most effective option. To go to a cafe? Also the probability is minimal. Internet dating is also not the best way. There is no certainty that a good man will fall.
And when you meet through the agency there?
We all go through the agency, the man fills in certain forms that guarantee that he does not have loans, debts, criminal past. In addition, foreign men (I’m not talking about residents of eastern countries – there are men with such a temperament that you can expect anything from them), people in Europe, Australia, Canada, the United States in general are very respectful of women. She can be sure that she will not be offended by word or deed.
What are the losses of the Siberians to foreign grooms?
Of course, there are decent Russian men who can give a lot to a woman. But there are not so many of them, everyone does not have enough. There is a certain percentage of women who, from the very beginning, understand that Russian men are not for them. A certain role is played by the economic and social status – we men may not be confident in themselves due to economic problems in the country, while foreigners are more confident.
They have a different problem. Women are more feminist, they have career, business, entertainment, and then family. It’s not for nothing that families form in America and Europe, when their spouses are already 30.
Who are they choosing? A woman who cares for herself loves herself, who wants a normal family life. All men, not only foreigners, are looking for this.
There is a stereotype that foreigners want a woman who will stay at home. This is not so – they do not need a housewife. On the contrary, they welcome that a woman, having married, having moved to another country, wants to achieve something.
The most important thing for them is for a woman to understand that marriage is a serious step, responsibility. Feelings, of course, appear later, not immediately.
In the comments to the recent article, many men confessed that they are not ready to build relationships with a woman with a child. And what about the foreign suitors?
For them, this is a kind of feat, that our Russian women manage to stretch themselves and their child in quite difficult life conditions. Never in our practice there was a problem due to the fact that a woman has a child. For them, this is normal.
You said that feelings come later. Many believe that marriage with a foreigner is a net calculation. What do you think about it?
I can not deny this, but it depends on the woman. At the first stage, men are courted – they know how to beautifully look after, and our women have always loved it – there is sympathy. But imagine – they meet for a couple of days, a maximum of a few weeks, then they part. This is not enough to create deep, strong feelings. Accordingly, the woman is taking a certain risk. If she feels that she is comfortable with this person, if she understands that he will be reliable with him, that she can eventually feel stronger feelings for him, she is at risk. But often in a year or two together, our clients recognize that for them it was the most ideal option. At once, of course, no one talks about this.
Do you ever come back?
We had one case when the girl came back – but then she went back to the USA. This is probably one of those cases where the calculation was present: the girl just wanted to leave Russia. She lived with an American for three or four years, then divorced and returned back. But she stayed here only a few weeks and left again. As we understand, she went to the same man.
Mostly it’s women from 28 to 38 years old. They are formed personalities, they have a job, a certain income – you can not say that they are in a financially difficult situation. And most often they, of course, have children.
We are more pleased to work with such women than with young girls. These women already know exactly what they want. Young girls often just want to leave the country and are very irresponsible in the process of dating.
Which countries are most often chosen by Siberians?
Everyone wants to first go to Europe, but in the end it turns out that they often leave for Australia and the United States. As for European countries, this is Belgium, England, France, the Netherlands. But now, for example, there is a very large flow of letters from Australia – the men there, apparently, became more active.
Find an overseas bridegroom – an expensive treat? How much does it cost in total?
Each agency has its own pricing. As for us, for today for women such services are almost free. It only requires professional photographs and filling out questionnaires. The only thing she pays: translations of letters, if they need it (about 30-50 rubles per letter), and a monthly fee of 200 rubles. But we plan to introduce a registration fee in the agency (1500-2000 rubles depending on the woman’s age).
Are you married?
Yes I am married. The husband is Russian. I got married before I started doing this business.